I didn't mind it though. I am going through so much stuff at the moment, that having to sit in the Butsuma to chant for three solid hours was pretty much the one thing I needed.
I need to be kind to myself, I need to chant to fully appreciate myself, and I need to do it now.
It only took me about fifteen minutes of chanting to understand that the searing hot pain in my heart has very little to do with what happened to me in the past year, and everything to do with my karma. That one realisation made it all better, made me believe that I can transform it, because it is inside me, not outside.
It still hurts, like a pride of lions devouring me from the inside, but I can now see the contingency as a distraction from the real problem.
So, quote of the month. Hmm...
Those who believe in the Lotus Sutra are as if in winter, but winter always turns to spring. Never, from ancient times on, has anyone heard or seen of winter turning back to autumn. Nor have we ever heard of a believer in the Lotus Sutra who turned into an ordinary person. The sutra reads, “If there are those who hear the Law, then not a one will fail to attain Buddhahood.”This lovely, hope-filled passage is from the Gosho: "Winter always turn to Spring", addressed to the lay nun Myōichi.
It's one of those shorter Gosho that are best read out loud :)