In the meantime, here is a little quote from The Opening of the Eyes Gosho.
I recently went through all my Buddhist books and wrote inside the front cover when I read them and, if applicable, as part of what study programme.
Lectures on the Opening of the Eyes is one of the books I am studying as part of my LIPC Dedicated Lilac training.
Last Committee meeting (a study/feedback meeting with all the team leaders), I was asked to feedback on Chapter 14 of this book.
This little quote stuck with me:
“[As practice progresses and understanding grows], the three obstacles and four devils emerge in confusing form, vying with one another to interfere.”It's the "confusing form", you see, that's the real sticky one. Bloody Devil King of the Sixth Heaven!
When things don't go the way we want them and we feel this anger and pain inside, and we blame it on the outside. We keep on hitting a wall on the outside and we feel powerless. And in that sense, we are.
We are entirely powerless to change the things on the outside that are making us unhappy.
Because there are no bloody things on the outside making us unhappy!
What make us unhappy is the cause we have inside of us. What the four obstacles and four devils do, is to make us forget that. They make us forget that the key is inside of us, and the solution is the Gohonzon, and they confuse us to make us obsess with stuff on the outside. That job or responsibility we didn't get. The holiday that didn't go as planned. The partner that rejected us. And so on and so forth.
And we hang on to this outside stuff, utterly convinced that the only way to be happy is to change the outside, and to get what we wanted. The worst part? Is when we are objectively wronged. When we can find some reasonable, rational reasons to be mad at our environment. That's the apex of the 3O&4D's victory and success.
I'm not saying that we should meekly accept everything that happens to us. If we are wronged, we should fight to obtain justice. What I am saying is, that obtaining justice will not make us happy and we should not confuse doing what's right in the circumstance with what we need to do to become happy.
Do what you have to do, but let go of the feeling that your happiness depends on circumstances changing on the outside. It doesn't.
And trust me, I'm saying this even as I am suffering like mad for exactly the very reason. I am chanting to let go and it sucks real bad that I can't seem to be able to. It is already a victory that I am recognising the work of the Devil King in what's happening, and I am chanting to let go. Few weeks ago, I was obsessing about the unfairness of my situation and my life was pure, unadulterated hell.
Baby steps, I guess.